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One Side: Beth

Sometimes I'm recorded while I’m eating. It's jarring to spot myself on her Instagram – it’s like a jumpscare.

My best friend of a decade, Marielle, labels herself the “creativity monarch”. It can be amusing for a bit, but it weighs on our friendship.

She is an extrovert, she feels the need to document everything all the time. During meals out, her motto is, “The camera eats first,” and snaps pictures with bright lighting, which makes me cringe. I don’t like it when strangers see her performing for the camera – I experience secondhand embarrassment. It also frustrates me because the food gets cold.

She's not quite an influencer yet, but she is trying to be. She makes video blogs about city life, a day in her life, and her work as a stylist. The material is quality, credit where it's due, but I prefer not to be involved. On occasion I'm captured while I’m eating, or simply tagging along. I’ll see myself on her Instagram afterwards, and it pops up like a jumpscare: I might be bare-faced, an awkward face or be captured while eating. It’s uncomfortable.

She also anticipates that I will to record her at inopportune moments. Often I’ll be talking to someone else, or we're simply hanging out in the street. I feel like our bond has transformed into me serving as her free crew. She has the means to hire someone if she wanted high-quality content. When I brought up my discomfort about this arrangement, she brushed it off. She’s taken me to several industry functions, which were appreciated, but that doesn't compensate for all the energy I spend assisting her make content.

I appreciate that she has helped me with my design career, but I don’t want our connection to become merely a tally of exchanges. I don't believe she’s fake or dishonest, but sometimes it seems that if the camera is out, we will start performing in a way that presents a favorable image for her channel.

Her directive is, “OK, look happy!” and record me smiling with another. It feels forced. It's crucial her to understand that our decade-long friendship still has boundaries. I enjoy spending time with her, but I also desire to experience it without being recorded, edited, or posted for an audience. I’m not a accessory for her Instagram.

The Defence: The Content Creator's View

I hope Beth to see that the content we make together can get us an opportunity.

I am passionate about shooting content. It's more than a hobby; it’s part of who I am. Creating videos and documenting experiences online enables me to show my personality and connect with people in novel forms.

I wouldn't label myself as a full influencer yet, but it's savvy to generate income from your passions. I admire people on social platforms who execute that aesthetic of informal, self-made content creation.

Creating content is my interpretation of engaging with life: observing the nuances, sharing them with an audience that appreciates the craft behind it. It's never my aim to make my friend uncomfortable. Taking her to industry events was my way of sharing opportunities, providing her a chance to witness behind-the-scenes moments that could help her career in design too. That’s not leverage, it's simply being realistic.

I’d still take her to these events even if she didn’t help me, but I desire her to see what the content we make together can get us: a foot in the door. I understand not all people enjoys being filmed, but often spontaneity is what makes content genuine. Appearing on video occasionally is an inherent aspect of being my friend. I would delete anything she requested, but she hasn't made such a request yet.

I don’t expect anybody to be my private videographer, but companions support one another in minor capacities. My assumption was filming a clip here or there would be fun for Beth. Innovation thrives in partnership, and having my friend around makes projects energetic and enjoyable. I don't compel her to take part in anything, and I would never intentionally embarrass her. But creating content jointly sometimes is part of how I document our shared experiences.

I value Beth’s friendship profoundly and want to avoid making videos to come between us. I am ready to find middle ground: like asking before recording, and avoiding angles that might make her uncomfortable.

This isn’t about control, it's regarding sharing my world while still respecting hers. Obviously content creation is not a substitute for genuine friendship: it's merely part of how I experience life and I want her to be included in a way that’s enjoyable for both of us.

The Jury: Public Sentiment

Is it right for her to stop filming herself and Beth when they are socializing?

Nothing is more excruciating than having a companion point a camera at you. I understand that it's her passion, but I don’t make friends come to my work. Maybe she can find influencer friends to create content with. With the dark, looming future of AI, human connections are the only thing we have – cherish them!
A respondent, 25

When pursuing something professionally, you can’t ask your friends for assistance repeatedly, even if they have helped previously. If Marielle loves shooting, that doesn't imply everyone around her is willing material. She must to respect Beth’s privacy.
Ankit, 26

Marielle might love making content and displaying her life online, but it isn't for everyone. It was kind she has helped Beth’s career, but she needs to listen to what Beth wants.
A commenter, 27

It sounds like you value each other, so hold on to that and ensure it’s the priority in your friendship. Create some real experiences, where genuine feelings are stored, not digital scrapbooks. In fact, celebrities who seem to share their worlds actually have more secrecy than it seems.
Sarah, 53

Marielle appears to be neither present nor genuine when she’s with Beth – she’s working. Each appears unsure as to where the line is. The solution lies not in trying to alter one another, but in each setting defined boundaries around what feels acceptable to them and seeing if there is an acceptable compromise.
Barbara, 71

Your Turn to Be the Judge

In an online poll: has she been exploiting their bond?